Thursday, August 30, 2018

A Little More About Mind Eater

Hello all.

Me again.

I just finished another chapter on Mind Eater, which leaves me with one more chapter to go before I send it off to the editor. This is awesome. I am so excited to release this one. I've got a feeling of fear and restlessness regarding this one, considering it is so different from the rest of my work. We'll see how it goes, however. Mind Eater is going to be a sci-fi/mystery novel, rather than primarily a horror novel. Don't fret, faithful reader, it will contain elements of psychological horror. In fact, the psychological horror will play a vital role in the story.

Now, I have stepped out of the horror boundaries earlier this year in the form of my poetry collection 'Of Maggots and Horses' but 'Mind Eater' one is going to be fiction, rather than a collection of various poems.

Anyway, I realized something as I almost uploaded a video.... writers are narcissists. We have to be. I guess the same could be said for any creative individual looking to make a living off of their work, but it became really apparent for me personally today.

I hate talking about myself, I really do, but I have to in order to sell books and keep my readers updated. My awkward personality really shows in my videos as well, especially when I start talking about myself. I'm just not an interesting guy, which is bad to say because, in order to sell books, you have to sell yourself in some ways. I mean, that sort of thing works for me when deciding what author I want to try out next, then their work is what keeps me around. People always say that the work is different from the creator, but I disagree. The work usually reflects the creator and if I don't like the creator, how am I going to like the work? Personal opinions are a strange thing indeed.

So my reason for stepping away from horror fiction with 'Mind Eater' is because I enjoy other things, rather than just strictly horror. In fact, sci-fi goes hand and hand with horror because both involve the unknown in some way. However, not only do I want to try something new but I also want to branch out to other readers. Of course, I'll still be bringing some of the elements from my previous work into 'Mind Eater' but, again, it isn't going to be the centerpiece to the story. I'm genuinely enjoying myself writing this story and I hope it resonates with, not only new readers but with you guys as well.

Now some of you may be wondering as to why I haven't released it sooner, considering I've been working on it for a year and a half, and that's because I keep getting sidetracked with other projects of mine; more recently, Heresy was the biggest distraction for me and, even now, I get distracted by updating my social media, blog and writing articles and reviews for websites. You mix that in with maintaining relationships and a full-time job and you get a very small timeframe to work with. This is true because, during the time when I got most work done on Mind Eater, I was lucky to get one status update or tweet out, which in turn made me lose some of my readers and followers. All in all, it's been tough. My ability to balance hasn't been very good.

Oh, before I end this post, I want to mention NaNoWriMo. Yes, I will be involved in that and yes it will still be free and exclusive to my website. I figured that would replace the short-story collection I've talked about, pushing the collection back a few months. I'll talk more about NaNoWriMo more when it gets closer to that time. For now, I'm going to be focusing on Mind Eater and hopefully have it released by the middle of October or, preferrably, earlier.

Anyway, that's all guys.

Stay rotten, everybody.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Update

Hey all.

It's me again.

I know it's been over a month since my last update.

That's because of the work that I've been doing on my next book and other projects. I've also been trying to update my other social media and get my YouTube up to speed and, most importantly, I've been getting my personal life together as well. I'll be honest, I can't wait until my next release.

I've been working on Mind Eater for a year and a half and I kept dropping it for other projects. I kept returning to it though and have it finally near done. I know it'll be out by the end of 2018 but I don't have an exact day right now.

I've found myself struggling to write again and again, whether it be on my blog or getting some work done on a book. Pardon my pessimism for a moment, but it seems that each release gets less and less results, granted it's probably because of my lack of marketing and confidence. I've also had a desire to step away from strictly horror and delve more into some sci-fi stuff and that's pretty much what Mind Eater is going to be. More on that later though.

For another moment, I felt lost and angry at everything for nothing. I'm frustrated, I suppose.

Anyway, this was more of an update post to let everyone know that there is more content coming to the blog and to my YouTube channel. I'm also thinking about participating in NANOWRIMO (national novel writing month). With that, I'll probably make it all available for free on my website.

Oh yeah.... my website.

For a month I owned my domain name, which was cool, and then I was fired from my job so I don't know if that will stay that way forever, but maybe I'll be wrong. More on that later as well.

So that's all everyone, I'm not dead.

Stay rotten, everybody.

Monday, July 9, 2018

Gaining Some Traction

Hello all.

Me again.

Have you ever had a time where you were completely stressed out for a few weeks? That's been me. As a result, I haven't been updating much lately. Also as a result of this, I have lost a total of twenty followers across all of my social media platforms. That's a lot considering how many I actually have.

But that's alright.

I just got the final draft of Heresy back and it should be going up for pre-order very soon. I also just bought my domain name and updated my website FINALLY. I got about three chapters left on my next release and I will hopefully finish those by the end of this week, edit it first, then send it out to the editor I pay for a second opinion. I'm hoping the next book will be released in August..... so with that statement being said, I want to have a cover ready for that book by next week.

After that book is released, I am working on two more books at the current moment, one of which I have been working on for a year now and it's almost done and it is MASSIVE. The other literally has two pages done, but it's coming along very nicely (I just haven't had the time to do anything with it yet).

So that's what we're looking at for the summer right now, a lot to do and not too much time to do it but I hope to have it done.

So that's all guys and, as always, stay rotten, everybody.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Pushing the Limitations

Hello all.

It's me again.

It's been about two months since I've uploaded a video or posted a blog update.

That's because my computer was fried, I was working two jobs, and I was quite depressed for some time.

But I'm good, for now.

Just thought I should let everyone know that I am still alive. I have finally found time to update everything and have had both jobs managed so that I may have some time to catch up on some much-needed writing/social media updates/ vlog recording/ etc.

In fact, I should have another video coming out tomorrow and another book coming out in the coming weeks. Here's hoping all goes according to plan, however.

As always, I appreciate all of the support and patience.

Stay rotten, everybody.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Poetry Collection Sneak Peek #2

Hello all.

It's me again.

Sorry.

It's been a long time.

I've been incredibly busy the past few weeks, between prepping for the poetry collection's release, starting a little side business, and, most of all, working two jobs, I have had hardly any time to post anything on Discharge of a Rotting Mind. But, one of my jobs fired me because I had a second job and I have a bit of free time. So, I'm here now and with the poetry collection coming tomorrow or Thursday, I thought it would be a good idea to share another poem from that collection with you guys.

Nothing Makes Sense Anymore


The dawn’s arrived
Yet there is no light.


I hold my breath, waiting to die
Yet I just sleep
And when I awake
No one’s there to answer me.


I'll come around soon,
I think.


Colors fade to black,
Spilling out over the lines
That I’m suppose to fill in;
Lost and washed away.


I have two legs
But I have nothing to stand on.


My dreams are made of painted walls
Melting and mixing and turning black.


I'm watching
The world growing around me,
Yet I can't even sprout a leaf.
Maybe the dirt’s pulling me back down.


Outsides becoming insides,
Right becoming left.


Nothing makes sense anymore.

-2017-

That's all, guys.

I'm gonna leave you with one question and forgive me if it's a little cryptic.

Do you know maggots are used to treat wounded horses?

Stay rotten, everybody.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

A Surge of Excitement, Followed by Wailing Depression

Hello all.

Me again.

I'll be honest, I've been really stressed out the past couple of days.

So, if you're not in the mood to be brought down or hear one of my repeating complaints, then skip today's post or read the flash fiction story I've posted after this.

I made a post the other day on all of my social media stating that I hate it when things do not happen or do the opposite and I begin losing progress. No, this is not progress that is happening in places that I cannot see. I can clearly see my lack of progress with a variety of tools at my disposal. That lack of progress is starting to drain me immensely.

I've been reading articles a lot lately, trying to get some kind of inspiration to start taking action but the articles just start stressing me out more and, somehow, make me think my work isn't good enough. This is, unfortunately, a common problem among many artists and I realize now that I have a thing called "creative depression", no that's not a legitimate medical diagnosis. I'm getting off topic here. Long story short, I'm very stressed out and I can't seem to find an answer as to why. A week ago I was super excited for each of my upcoming books, now I wonder if they'll even be worth my time to publish.

Which brings me to my next little rant.

Social Media

No matter how hard I feel I try, I cannot grow in any aspect of my life; in fact, the more I try, the more progress I lose, it seems. I don't fucking understand it (pardon my language, but "fucked" seems to be a good summary of my mental state).

Twitter. Remember how happy I was to have exceeded my Facebook page's follower count? I peaked at 231 followers on Twitter and the day after I posted my blog post, I kid you not, I plummeted down to 218 followers. At the time of writing this, I now have 215 followers. So, essentially, something that took me three months to accumulate vanished in two days time. People would follow me, wait until I followed them back (networking and all), and then just unfollow me. That is some pretty frustrating stuff.

Facebook. Is literally the same it has been for the past year, with brief moments where I LOSE likes, it never grows and always ends up breaking even. To be honest, this is probably my most loyal and active social media community and where most of you beautiful readers stem from.

YouTube. The moment I stop taking it seriously, it grows. The moment I start taking it seriously, I lose all progress I make. I do everything all these "how-to" articles and videos say to do and NOTHING works. I try to do something corny and funny, nothing, I try to make a serious video, nothing, I push my videos everywhere I can, still nothing. Again, for the eightieth time, I hate dedicating so much time and effort into something only for it to completely backfire.

Instagram. I just hate the whole platform and what it encourages and rewards. What more can I say?

My biggest disappointment this month was when Born Again was free for five days. I pushed it hardcore on Twitter and Instagram, considering most of my Facebook followers already had a copy of their own and accumulated a little over thirty downloads... the worst free promotion I have ever run. Like, it's free. People like the posts about the promotion, but can't be bothered to click a link? I know I might upset some people with complaining about nobody downloading my book, but I say again, if I wrote it strictly for myself, I would not publish it.

Reviews

There is also one thing that has plagued my writing life since I started and that is reviews. Amazon puts far too much emphasis on reviews. I appreciate everyone who has read and/or reviewed the books, I apologize if this rant seems to be directed at you; it's not. I understand that life can be crazy sometimes and not everyone can spare the time to give a review (especially given Amazon's picky review sorting system).

This rant is directed at the 111 review sites/blogs I gave my books to for free that claimed they would get back in touch with me a year and a half ago. Seriously, fuck you. If you hated the book, then say that. I just want something you know? Otherwise, why am I wasting my time and resources in giving my books to you? If it's because you don't have enough time, then tell me that, don't lie to me and make me feel like a fool.

I gave my books to a grand total of 113 websites/blogs and only two got back to me (which I greatly respect both of them for). Honestly, I stopped sending my books to reviewers because of the 111 websites giving me the run around. I get more reviews from strangers who stumble upon my books than from websites whose JOB is to review and connect with authors/artists/filmmakers/etc. Again, I would prefer to know that someone hated my book rather than just leave me in silence, wondering if I'll ever hear from them again.

Out of 113 websites/blogs I sent my books to, I had one get back in touch with me stating they were completely booked and wouldn't have time to read and review my novel until next year; I had another one actually read and review my first book and that site was gbhbl.com. Thank you, GBHBL again, and thank you even more so for the awesome review, and I'm very glad you enjoyed the book! (see the in depth, well woven review here: https://gbhbl.com/horror-book-review-never-forgive-me-never-forget-me-by-kyle-atwood/).

Conclusion

Sorry, but when I rant on here, it honestly makes me feel better, helps me hone my writing skills, helps me identify the feelings I'm having and eliminate them, and update my blog as well.

So, if you're one of my readers, know that this was not at all directed at you. I appreciate you so much, I wouldn't dare say a bad thing about you. I am more frustrated with people exploiting others and not growing in any aspect of my life.

Again, this post was not directed towards you, my dearest reader.

I guess I'm just an existential nihilist and I'm having a hard time accepting that.

That's all, guys.

As always,

stay rotten, everybody.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Frustrations and Other Thoughts

Hello all.

Me again.

I find myself complaining a lot lately, more commonly about the lack of time and the fact that there are only so many hours in the day. For instance, today is my day off and I have to get some writing done, clean my apartment, go to the bank, and record a video, all before my wife comes home (family always comes before work and we haven't spent much time together lately). So, I think today's blog post is going to have to be a brief one, on the count of having so much to do.

But, before we get into the post, Born Again is still free on Kindle until tomorrow night! So hurry up and get it downloaded before it goes back up to its full price! https://www.amazon.com/Born-Again-Kyle-Atwood-ebook/dp/B0719RNDMX/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1521484301&sr=8-2&keywords=kyle+atwood

Anyway, on with the rest of the post.

I already mentioned that time and I have not been getting along lately. It just seems that whenever I think I have time to catch up, I have to do something, whether it be going to work or going to the doctors or whatever have you, and that's fine, that's just how life is. What is not fine, is the fact that it still bothers me, despite me saying, "that's just how life is" and it sucks. Often times, while I'm at work, I'll keep repeating to myself that, "I'd rather be writing" and that is very true. The funny thing is, though, is that when I finally sit down to write, I get a great big case of writer's block and I end up sitting there for hours writing no more than a hundred or so words. That's life though.

My next frustration is marketing (it's only the eightieth time I've complained about it). Ironically enough, I've sold more books for Born Again last week when it was full priced, than I have when it has been free. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I wish the problem could be highlighted in blood red for me.

Frustration numero tres: I just feel like, the moment I start getting excited about something, be that YouTube or the articles I have been writing lately, I get no results from the work I put into them. Like, I don't want to record a video today because I know it will get no views and I'll probably even lose a subscriber, if I haven't already (and a subscriber for a channel with only twenty-four of them is like losing a thousand subscribers over night, it's bothersome). My articles generated more readers when I was writing them every couple of months, now I'm writing them every week or so, dedicate three days to writing each one and I wind up getting no more than ten views, I just feel wronged somehow. I'm insecure and all, boohoo, pity me and buy a book, eh? Just kidding, but I am insecure.

Frustration 4: I really want to own my domain name of my website and update it immensely, but I don't have enough money to do so. Day job doesn't pay me enough and I'm not generating nearly enough income from my books to afford that.

However, despite everything else moving like a slug, my blog has been generating more readers and that is FREAKING AWESOME! I went from having one or two people reading my posts, to ten, twenty, or thirty reading them and it makes me VERY HAPPY! Thank you guys.

Another fantastic side note is that my Twitter account has BLOWN up in the past month, surpassing my Facebook follower count (214 people) by hitting 220 followers, granted, about ten of them are probably lusty sex bots, but until they are banned from Twitter, I'M COUNTIN' 'EM!

You know, despite my frustrations, I'm actually rather happy. Don't know if I'm exactly optimistic about the future of my work, but at this exact moment, I feel excited for what I will be releasing starting with my poetry collection being released in a little under a month from now.

Anyway, be sure to download Born Again . It's free. What have you got to lose? Plus, it'll make me feel all warm and toasty inside.

Check out my latest article at:
https://hubpages.com/entertainment/The-Golden-Age-of-Slasher-Films

So, that's all for today's post, guys, I've gotta get started on cleaning (my apartment is a complete disaster and no that is not an over exaggeration, it is complete fact).

Stay rotten, everybody.